IC inbox for Snowblind

[thewarningafter]

@beyonce

You've reached Dr. Stephen Strange. Leave a message and my secretary will get back to you.

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audio

[thewarningafter]

[At first Stephen just breathes a sigh of resignation over the opening of the message -- he'd expected that sooner or later all of it would be running out, and this just cements his thoughts about the need to ration them out.

The final line doesn't initially register. He has to read it a second time before he's sure he read it correctly, a third time before he can believe it's really a statement of fact. Like as not he'll be overheard by the others in the shed despite keeping his voice low.]

Jesus Christ, John. Where are you? Can you dig a shelter?

[jumpthegun]

[John is going to keep to text until he's asked to switch. It's easier to sound practical and fine.]

Hsiaoke Pass. There was a cave-in. I'm as insulated as I can be. It won't be enough.

I've let Claire and Dr. Volakis know about the situation, as well. I was advising several patients earlier today for their injuries. If you three could coordinate tending to them, I'd very much appreciate it. It was Karkat, Ginger, Charlie, and Brian. I've already prescribed appropriate medication for their conditions, so that shouldn't be something you need to worry about.

[thewarningafter]

Right, yeah -- I'm with Claire now, we're near most of them.

[He can be practical, too, at least momentarily. He goes silent, mind racing through options. John is a smart man and a determined one; he wouldn't resign himself if he hadn't already assessed all his options. But...there is another....]

There's evidence....

[He trails off. He doesn't want to even say it, but he grits his teeth before forcing it out.]

There's evidence to suggest that deliberate deaths are more likely to result in revival.

[But maybe Sherlock has already told him that. God, is he having this same conversation with Sherlock? With his other friends?]

cw: suicidal ideations/discussion of suicide

[jumpthegun]

[Except he's really not fine at all, and there's a hysterical giggle that wants out at that advice. As many times as John had contemplated it...]

I know. Sherlock's already done himself. Guess I'm more of a coward than I thought. He wanted me to live, anyway. He told me the only way to save him was to live.

[John's voice breaks, but it doesn't translate, blessedly. Dying for someone? John would do that in a heartbeat. Taking his own life? It's a much harder question, and it's one that's never gotten easier for him with time.]

cw discussion of suicide

[thewarningafter]

[And this right here is why Stephen should have gone to text himself. He does his best to choke off the little sound he makes in reply. Sherlock isn't exactly his favorite person, but he wasn't prepared for the news that the man's killed himself...or the implication that he's left John with his dead body.]

I'm sorry, that was -- I shouldn't have suggested it.

[jumpthegun]

[John takes a few deep breaths to calm himself and readjusts Sherlock's coat where it's partially draped around him. He needs to get himself under control. He shouldn't have said that.]

I'm upsetting you. I'm sorry, Stephen. Rest well tonight, okay? Keep warm. I'll talk to you again sometime soon.

[Hopefully.]

[thewarningafter]

Don't you dare apologize for that.

[Stephen's not keeping the best control over himself, in turn. Rest well, like this is going to be the night when he can actually sleep again. Like hell.]

[jumpthegun]

[John sighs.]

I told you something that wasn't your burden to bear. I know this isn't helping you. It was selfish. I'm sorry for that. I really only meant to tell you so you could take care of my patients.

[thewarningafter]

And I will, but you're allowed to upset people when you're --

[Deep breath. Couple of deep breaths.]

If there's any time to be selfish, I'd say it's now.

[jumpthegun]

It's really not, but thank you. You're very kind. Good night, Stephen. Please take care of yourself.

[And he'll disconnect.]