WTL Mailbox

[thewarningafter]

1107 Sweet Cream Street

Comments

[carnagecarnival]

yo, stephen

WAS JUST MAKING NOTICE AS LIKE YOU DIDN'T GET NO REPLY ON TO WHAT THINGS ZEPHYR WAS SAYING FOR [And the spike of fear what came before it, and the feeling like he's motherfucking been there before.] AND I JUST THOUGHT IT ABOUT ASKING IF YOU WAS AIGHT AND ALL
ain't no thing if you're well and good
OR IF YOU AIN'T UP AND GOT NO WANT TO TALK OF IT
just making as all to check i suppose

-IZZEKIEL ♑

[thewarningafter]

Was I really that loud?

-Stephen

[carnagecarnival]

[He winces at the note he receives. It's getting more and more obvious that what he's picking up isn't just... shit he sees. He's gotten so used to dancing around it, spelling it out feels to be getting caught. He still feels a need to tread with delicacy.]

THINGS WHAT'S FAMILIAR STICK OUT ALL THE MORE
got more effort up ins to untangle the wicked shit from what's me
AND I WAS ALREADY PAYING MIND TO WHAT GOT WROTE
seeing as i cut up ins and all
WASN'T NO LOUDER THAN NOTHING ELSE

[Which says less than he figures Stephen will think it does.]

are you going to be alright?

[thewarningafter]

[Is he going to be alright? He has no idea. There was a brief window, only a brief one, of being alright before he was taken to Norfinbury, and since then....

He writes a letter he never sends -- crumples it; leaves it in his wastebin. The one Izzy actually receives has little of the overt self doubt in its words that pervaded the first one.]

Even if the Norfinbury I remember is only one of many, it's still my responsibility. I'll figure it out.

[It's not an answer to the question at all, of course.]

[carnagecarnival]

[He's not ready to let go. He ain't going to move on. He acknowledges all that and he knows he shouldn't write back. But he tells himself, this time, maybe, it'll help for something.

He hopes it does. No one else should have to live that way.]

when i found out
THAT MY WORLD HAS AT ALL SORTS OF TIMELINES
i didn't know what to do
THERE WAS BEING A THOUSAND ON THOUSANDS OF ITERATIONS
where all what i know would suffer

I'D CHOSEN WHAT WORLD I GOT TAKEN TO
it was what i wanted
BUT I THOUGHT, IF THERE WAS CHANCE TO GO BACK
to change what had been done
I HAD TO DO IT
even if i lost all i'd come to care for
EVEN IF IT HURT ME IN WAYS INDESCRIBABLE
my girl
SHE GOT HER HORROR ON LEGIT
she told me i couldn't go back
BECAUSE IF I CHANGED WHAT WAS, ALL WOULD BE DOOMED
you see, there are right timelines, and there are doomed ones
ACCORDING TO THE LAWS OF MY WORLD
the suffering of my fellows was right
THE SINS I'D DONE COMMITTED WERE CORRECT

and i couldn't accept that
I COULDN'T FATHOM SUCH CRUELTIES EVER BEING FAIR OR JUST
i couldn't fucking stomach that who i was at to be
I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHAT COULD CHANGE AND IF I EVER WENT BACK THEN NOT AT ALL
i've never felt so trapped as like that

EVERYONE WHAT WOULD EVER BE
aletheia, xanthous, even humans
YOU'RE ALL AFTER MY TIME
and i try, all the time, to tell myself that such existence makes it worth it
BUT I AIN'T ALWAYS KNOW IF IT DOES SO I WON'T TELL YOU THAT

i'll just say what i do know
YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON STEPHEN
i know you are, even without knowing you personal
YOU DON'T DESERVE TO SUFFER THE BURDEN OF A THOUSAND FUCKING TIMELINES
you don't deserve driving your ownself mad in trying to
AND THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS WHAT CARE OF YOU WOULD SAY THE SAME DAMN THING
you're only one person
IT'S NOT SELFISH TO ADMIT THAT YOU, IN YOUR ITERATION ALONE, CAN'T SAVE THE ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING UNIVERSE MULTIPLE
you
YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE IF YOU CAN'T SAVE EVERYONE
you can only save as much as you can
BE IT YOUR WORLD OR YOUR TIMELINE OR JUST YOUR PEOPLE ALONE

but even by all that, brother
THESE MEADOUS, WE DECIDED WE'D TRY TO VENTURE OUT
we decided seeing what we could save of the miracle guardians
AND AIN'T NO ONE HAD TO SAY IT, BUT IF THERE'S SHIT WHAT'S ALONG THE WAY
i ain't see no reason we couldn't try and save that too
AND, YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT JUST BE EASIER THAT WAY THAN IF YOU HAD TO DO IT ALONE

if not
IF NOTHING ELSE
then i'm sorry

[xanthous]

[A few days after their Totally Anonymous conversation on the bulletin board, a package appears at Stephen's house.

Inside is a simple, but functional CD player and a note.]

II heard you liike mu2iic and don't have anythiing to play iit wiith unle22 you wanna 2ma2h on 2ome key2 your2elf.
IIt'2 probably a 2tupid giift but II know what you diid for my moiiraiil and II don't know any other way to repay you.
2o.
Enjoy iit.

-Xanthou2

P2: There 2hould be 2omethiing that work2 wiith thii2 iin the liibrary iif you want to 2tart a hoard.

August 23rd

[voiceinthephone]

[Since Dr. Strange was such an eager consumer of cupcakes, a new package arrives with two new flavors: Inner Peace and one with a cute topper. Attached to the package is a note]

For Dr. Strange,

You may be in for a more relaxing day ahead, with this combination. The Pax Lavender cupcake with ease your mind allow peace to come along.

The other one, I haven't had the chance to test how strong it might be but I assure you the effects will be temporary. The topper should be hint enough.

Bon apetit!

[thewarningafter]

[Even the great Stephen Strange can't control death. But he had. He had saved an entire world of people, and what it had taken was letting go of his concerns about himself.

But had he ever really?]

I could always recruit the other Stephens Strange to help.

[That's about as far as he makes it with flippancy, though. As much as he wants to resent the advice, too much of it cuts through, reminds him of things the Ancient One told him. Is he really still so afraid of failure? Is he really still struggling to learn the central lesson? He's tried, and he's thought he improved, but this need to be the savior of the multiverse is -- it's another form of ego, if he dares admit it to himself.]

I hear what you're saying. It just might take me a while to listen.

[thewarningafter]

[It's not entirely a surprise, but it brings a smile to Stephen's face when he opens it anyhow. The CD player will be carefully enshrined on one of his bookshelves; raiding the library will come soon after (the CD player is already amongst books raided from that same building).]

Xanthous,

Thank you for this gift. Consider any bills you feel you owe me paid in full.

Dr. Stephen Strange

[carnagecarnival]

[It's a weak remark, the comment of other timelines. A joke. Maybe he could. Maybe unlike his ownself Stephen could rely on his others. But he suspects, most likely, that they're just as stuck as he is.]

I UNDERSTAND
but the fact you're being to say that to me
MEANS AS SOME PART OF YOU DID

[And there's gratitude to be found in that.]

take your time
MIRTH KNOWS YOU'RE TAKING IT BETTER AS THAN WHAT I DID
just don't forget what preach is important, yeah?
EVEN IF YOU CAN'T HELP TAKING IT AS YOUR BURDEN
it ain't got to be your burden alone

[thewarningafter]

[At least one of those others is a Sorcerer Supreme -- though little does Stephen know that that guy is dealing with plenty of his own problems, and like as not hasn't held on to the title.]

I've known it was a possibility for a long time. I just hadn't been hit with it in those terms before.

[carnagecarnival]

MOTHERFUCKERS KNOW DEATH AN EVER PRESENT POSSIBILITY
don't mean it ain't surprise once that shit hits
AND GRACE, MY BROTHER, IS ALL UP IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES

[thewarningafter]

That's a little more familiar than I'd like it to be.

same day

[thewarningafter]

Phil,

Thanks for the cupcakes, but I think I might have done enough experimenting with those. Also the implications of that topper are weird, are you trying to turn me into a cat? Am I reading that right?

--Dr. Strange

[voiceinthephone]

You wanted to know all the branches of magic and that includes trait-giving cupcakes. You would gain animal traits for a day or two, along with heightened senses and such.

The Inner Peace one is to help you relax after going off on a Happiness bender.

[thewarningafter]

I'm pretty sure Peace + Cat = Nap.

[He's on to you.]

I'd still be interested in having a look at that book sometime.

[voiceinthephone]

You have discovered my dastardly scheme to ensure you have the most relaxed and amazing nap in your life! What shall I do now!

Is your mind clearer to understand the consequences?

[thewarningafter]

Considering I've had these cupcakes on my table this long without eating them, I'm going to say my ability to understand consequences has returned to me.

[Phil might have noticed the notes are coming quicker than the mail sloth should be delivering them. Stephen is, in fact, opening a little gateway each time to hand-deliver them to the mailbox.]

[carnagecarnival]

[He winces some. That's a point. Just because he was used to death didn't mean others were-- even when they had experience plenty.]

sorry brother
PROBABLY OUGHT WATCH THAT PHRASING MINE

october 5th

[howdull]

[It hadn't been hard to deduce what costume Stephen wants to wear for Halloween, not with his initial comments about making an excellent neighbour costume and then his poorly disguised attempt to ask for a cat.

It's actually a pretty ingenious idea, and he'd quite like to do the same in return. If he has to dress up, then he's going to make sure it's done to the highest standard. Which is why, after a couple of days, Sherlock will appear on Stephen's doorstep with a large bag in hand and knock sharply.]

[thewarningafter]

[Stephen comes to the door quickly enough, Levi flitting to his shoulders by the time he gets there. Neighbors coming to his door in this world always seems to herald some kind of crisis, so he takes a second to look Sherlock up and down before deciding that no, Sherlock probably wouldn't come to him for help with much of anything unless he wants something magical. The bag's a mystery, and his gaze lingers on it a moment longer. He gives the other man a questioning look.]

Afternoon.

[howdull]

I've brought the costume you requested.

[He grins, sudden and bright and slightly mischievous.]

I think a month should be enough time to grow an appropriate goatee in return, don't you?

[thewarningafter]

That I --?

[Stephen doesn't get more than two syllables out before he stops and breaks into a grin. He steps back and pushes the door open wider in an invitation to come inside.]

The Heart is still a problem. No offense to Berit, of course.

[howdull]

None taken.

[She responds from her position draped around Sherlock's shoulders.]

Not that much of an issue. [He steps inside as he talks.] As long as you don't roam more than fifteen feet or so from me, Berit can simply walk by your heels and none should be any the wiser. At a party of that many people, it shouldn't be hard to remain relatively close without arousing suspicion.

[thewarningafter]

[If anything, Stephen's smile just grows at this show of cooperation.]

So that just leaves the question of whether I can convince my cloak to sit on your shoulders. It's that or it can stay home that night.

[That last bit is spoken into Levi's collar as Stephen shuts the door and leads the way right into his own bedroom, going straight to the set of drawers. The room itself is small and bare like a cell belonging to a member of a religious order, the latticed window and incense holder on the sill completing the illusion of his old room at Kamar-Taj.

Stephen pulls open a drawer as he gestures to the desk for Sherlock to set down his bag.]

The blue, I think. What's your plan for when people ask why you're not wearing a costume? Assuming you think you can pull me off.