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[thewarningafter]

@beyonce

You've reached Dr. Stephen Strange. Leave a message and my secretary will get back to you.

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audio | same night

[thewarningafter]

What is it?

[He tries, he really does, to leave it at that. Unfortunately for House, Stephen's still spilling his guts to any and all comers.]

Is it the sertraline? You're not supposed to be out for another week and I was just going to fill it without talking to you about it, but that plan's kind of down the toilet now that communication's down with Eve. And now that I've talked to you about it.

permatext

[rubikscomplex]

no
it's about my vicodin
i need to get off of it
if evie's gone permanently
then i just lost my supplier if things go south and i lose any of what i have

[There's also the consideration that what he's taking now can be better used elsewhere or bargained with. That first part sounds almost like he has a heart, though, and after Davesprite rejecting his apology, House isn't interested in making overtures, only to have them thrown back in his face.]

and i need someone who's ethical enough not to just take it away
who knows how to manage withdrawal
who isn't completely insufferable
and someone i can't just bully into giving it back

perma-audio

[thewarningafter]

Gee, I'm flattered. I'm sure someone's pointed all this out to you months ago but I can't say I'm surprised this is what it's taken for you to seriously consider it.

[Stephen lets out a sigh. He'd like to be handling this at least a little more diplomatically; House's cooperation in anything has always been a fleeting, fickle thing and he'd actually really like to help.]

I want to help you. I shouldn't want to help you, but you're a little bit right about the martyr complex. I'm just having a really hard time not pointing out that you're an asshole and you could have avoided a lot of the things that've happened to you if you'd done this sooner. Did you talk to Karkat? Because seriously, dick move getting me to tell you that. Where did you wake up? I'm back in the industrial zone as of today, just shoved a bunch of food into vending machines and it's probably not going to do anything.

[rubikscomplex]

of course i'm right
you could give wilson a run for his money
and that's saying something

and no
i'm not talking to kitkat
i haven't even done anything to him
i'm not apologizing for knowing something about him
i'm not planning on telling anyone, either
so you can get your panties out of a twist

[He might threaten it if he needs something out of Davesprite or Karkat, but House has no immediate plans for them.]

woke up at the collumbarium
heading your way
but my balance is screwed up

[thewarningafter]

Don't knock it, I worked hard to get this martyr complex. And good, keep it that way. It doesn't even matter here and the kid doesn't need to be harassed about it.

[Guess who has zero faith that House will continue not bringing it up.]

Of course you are. This couldn't possibly be easy. I'm trying to get back to the residential area to pick up my cloak, but I can come back south for you if that'll hurry things up.

[rubikscomplex]

sure thing
dad

[So suspicious, Stephen!]

no go get your cloak
i don't wanna have to run back through the pass like this
and we need to get into those sealed buildings
i'll be working on that
this isn't urgent

[thewarningafter]

Mhmm. So you're definitely not going to change your mind about this in the week it'll take me to get back here and throw a tantrum when I hold you to it.

[ He has a point about the pass, though. It'll take that much longer with House along. ]

You can save me a day if you stop in the bus station just north of the gate and check whether the vending machines have real food in them.

[rubikscomplex]

have i ever thrown a tantrum?
about something that wasn't drugs?

i'm almost out of food, anyway
i'll check the machines

[thewarningafter]

Well, there was the time you spent several days hunting down every typo I made because you were ticked off that I'd included publicly available information about you in the census. And that time you tried to sic Alfie on me for the Vicodin -- didn't work, by the way, he and his buddy very conscientiously refused to rob me. Something about baseline respect for the value of doctors who aren't assholes? Something like that.

[rubikscomplex]

being petty isn't a tantrum
and i didn't sic solomons on you
you're just a super nervous guy
you should take something for that anxiety, doc

[thewarningafter]

We're not even in the same building yet and I already regret agreeing to this.

[rubikscomplex]

hey
you can say no
i'm not holding a gun to your head
and funny story there
you know how people sometimes gain memories when they die?
it's really freaking annoying

[thewarningafter]

Not the first time I've heard of it, but probably the first time someone's called it annoying. How long were you -- what's the, uh, what's the time span on the memories?

[rubikscomplex]

about a year
and it's annoying because i figured out how to cure my leg
but wilson and legs
were surprised that i wasn't using a cane
he was from at least five years ahead
she was from at least four
ergo the treatment failed

also
i just go shot by some patient's husband
so that was a bitch

[thewarningafter]

That's terrible. I'm sorry, I know what that's like, finding something you think will work and then it doesn't -- it never works, and suddenly you're a soldier in a war you didn't know what was happening -- not you, me, I'm kind of reading in my own experiences here and that's...not helping.

At least you know the gunshot also failed.

[rubikscomplex]

okay, soldier boy
let's put a bookmark in that until you're feeling less chatty

and he wasn't shooting to kill me
he just wanted me to suffer
i think
i had a whole hallucination thing
it made sense

[thewarningafter]

[Yes, please, they can just not talk about that.]

Oh, well, if it made sense in your hallucination.

[rubikscomplex]

don't be an idiot
i don't always consciously process things
i probably saw his wife's obit or someone told me about it
and i made the connection
i knew who he was from her diagnosis
i don't usually get repeats on my cases

i knew he put a bullet through my neck
even though i wasn't conscious for that
i also figured out i was hallucinating while i was hallucinating
we had a case before the guy came in
i was working through it
but things weren't adding up
i was losing time
knew the test results the second my team did
it didn't make sense

[thewarningafter]

Uh huh. Look, I'm aware that people process information in dreams, you don't need to explain that to me. It's just usually when you wake up that you put it all together into something that makes sense -- what's going on in your head during sleep isn't exactly thinking.

You know how many times I've figured out how to get us all out of here in a dream? And somehow it never works when I wake up.

[rubikscomplex]

maybe what's going on in your dreams isn't thinking
kinda wonder if that extends to your brain for the waking hours, too, sometimes.

anyway
the point is
i got shot
it hurt like a bitch
and there wasn't even anything good that came out of it in the end

[thewarningafter]

And yet you're the one asking me for help. Yeah, I know, I'm a brainless do-gooder or whatever else you're going to call me this time.

And I'm sorry you got shot. Really. Never been through that myself but it's not exactly on my bucket list, either.

[rubikscomplex]

i said sometimes
if you were a brainless do-gooder all the time
you'd be as annoying as elric or watson
you're selfish, too
i like that
flaws give you character
beyond self-sacrificial moron

you've died plenty of other ways, though
getting shot is probably one of least unpleasant things to ever happen to me after this place
don't add getting your tongue cut out to the bucket list, either

[thewarningafter]

Gee, thanks. Glad I passed your litmus test; I'd hate to think I wasn't entertaining you. And I wasn't about to. I've had enough dismemberment without getting specific enough to try the tongue.

You asked how I felt about garroting, once. It's not a favorite, it's -- it's too slow. The slow ones are the hardest. Shooting might not be so bad if they shot the right part of you, but getting shot in the neck....

[rubikscomplex]

oh, get over yourself
it's a compliment

i was out for the neck
chest hurt enough
ever seen "reservoir dogs"?
now mr. orange had it bad
i'm also pretty sure that guy had twice as much blood as any human being i've ever seen

[thewarningafter]

You were just saying that you like that I'm not over myself.

Mhmm, twice as much blood and half as many ears -- no, that was the cop. The other cop, the one they knew was a cop. You'd be surprised how long it can take a person to bleed out, though.