[ If he wasn't so manic, he probably wouldn't say anything- but then again, if he wasn't hit with this mania, they wouldn't be having this conversation at all. He sputters, distressed, for a moment- very unusual for him- before he spits out something he definitely didn't want to say. ]
I want to kill my dad. And I really want him to suffer. The memory, it was when I was five. He sold me to another couple for cash and then killed my mother and dumped her out on the road.
Every time I sleep, it's on repeat. That memory, over and over, and I just wake up thinking that I want to kill him for making me like this.
--damn it, that's not- it's not your problem. I don't really want to talk about it, but I talk anyway. And sometimes it's like I can't focus on anything else, so I just- I know you're not a psychiatrist. I don't think any psychiatrist would want to take me on. There's no fixing what's really wrong with me. And that doesn't have anything to do with keeping me safe here, anyway. We can just focus on that.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-11-14 05:00 pm (UTC)I want to kill my dad. And I really want him to suffer. The memory, it was when I was five. He sold me to another couple for cash and then killed my mother and dumped her out on the road.
Every time I sleep, it's on repeat. That memory, over and over, and I just wake up thinking that I want to kill him for making me like this.
--damn it, that's not- it's not your problem. I don't really want to talk about it, but I talk anyway. And sometimes it's like I can't focus on anything else, so I just- I know you're not a psychiatrist. I don't think any psychiatrist would want to take me on. There's no fixing what's really wrong with me.
And that doesn't have anything to do with keeping me safe here, anyway. We can just focus on that.