[It's frustrated, a sharp snap. His secrets aren't as important as this.]
How I am, how I should be, it's not possible. I'm the best choice to try this because if it works, if they're gone, then I won't be in danger from the radiation.
Dr. Strange, I'm afraid I have to report that the painkiller supply is low, all around. I've been trying to prescribe for the recent injuries yesterday. Whatever attacked us weren't standard anomalies, according to the Admin.
Also, I'm afraid I'll be dying tonight. Locked out.
[At first Stephen just breathes a sigh of resignation over the opening of the message -- he'd expected that sooner or later all of it would be running out, and this just cements his thoughts about the need to ration them out.
The final line doesn't initially register. He has to read it a second time before he's sure he read it correctly, a third time before he can believe it's really a statement of fact. Like as not he'll be overheard by the others in the shed despite keeping his voice low.]
Jesus Christ, John. Where are you? Can you dig a shelter?
[God, but he sounds young. After everything that happened, Stephen has little doubt what kind of help Karkat needs if he's calling him. He keeps his voice down, not necessarily wanting to broadcast the conversation to his traveling companions.]
[John is going to keep to text until he's asked to switch. It's easier to sound practical and fine.]
Hsiaoke Pass. There was a cave-in. I'm as insulated as I can be. It won't be enough.
I've let Claire and Dr. Volakis know about the situation, as well. I was advising several patients earlier today for their injuries. If you three could coordinate tending to them, I'd very much appreciate it. It was Karkat, Ginger, Charlie, and Brian. I've already prescribed appropriate medication for their conditions, so that shouldn't be something you need to worry about.
[It's probably good that the audio feed from Stephen's end isn't turned on as he listens to this first message. Clint doesn't deserve the sharp, bitter laugh it evokes. He keeps that to himself as he actually answers.]
Couple things. What kind of pain are we talking about, and what have you tried?
[Normal anomalies don't break arms, which means this happened yesterday. Stephen draws in a breath and reminds himself that it won't do any good now to scold him for waiting (and he'll feel like an asshole for having that thought at all when he finally gets around to checking the other network posts and sees that Karkat already responded to Ginger's).]
Can you show me an image? You can describe it to me if it's too hard to maneuver the tablet.
[He keeps his voice soft, but that declaration is enough to get him out of text. Kid in armor --> kid is a robot. Thought process adjusted, though it's going to take a while for that to actually sink in despite the weird amount of sense it makes to him.]
But you do have nanomachines -- has to be similar to what they did to my cloak, adding capillaries where there weren't any.
Right, yeah -- I'm with Claire now, we're near most of them.
[He can be practical, too, at least momentarily. He goes silent, mind racing through options. John is a smart man and a determined one; he wouldn't resign himself if he hadn't already assessed all his options. But...there is another....]
There's evidence....
[He trails off. He doesn't want to even say it, but he grits his teeth before forcing it out.]
There's evidence to suggest that deliberate deaths are more likely to result in revival.
[But maybe Sherlock has already told him that. God, is he having this same conversation with Sherlock? With his other friends?]
[He doesn't like this and the discomfort is plain in his voice, though it's hidden under a thick layer of grief and tension.]
I guess so, that would make sense since I can bleed here. I shouldn't be able to, I'm still hollow, but-- they changed me. If I got the nanomachines out, I think I'd be as I should be.
[Unlike yesterday, he's prepared for the request, and it takes minimal fumbling to send back an image of his fractured (right) forearm, sleeve painstakingly rolled up to reveal the unnatural angle it currently rests at. Frostbitten fingers tipped with yellow claws are also visible but not the focal point.]
Watson prescribed pain medication and told me to go somewhere with hot water for the frostbite, but I still need help for the arm, so...
[Yeaaahh, help would be pretty awesome right about now.]
[Except he's really not fine at all, and there's a hysterical giggle that wants out at that advice. As many times as John had contemplated it...]
I know. Sherlock's already done himself. Guess I'm more of a coward than I thought. He wanted me to live, anyway. He told me the only way to save him was to live.
[John's voice breaks, but it doesn't translate, blessedly. Dying for someone? John would do that in a heartbeat. Taking his own life? It's a much harder question, and it's one that's never gotten easier for him with time.]
[And this right here is why Stephen should have gone to text himself. He does his best to choke off the little sound he makes in reply. Sherlock isn't exactly his favorite person, but he wasn't prepared for the news that the man's killed himself...or the implication that he's left John with his dead body.]
I'm sorry, that was -- I shouldn't have suggested it.
[John takes a few deep breaths to calm himself and readjusts Sherlock's coat where it's partially draped around him. He needs to get himself under control. He shouldn't have said that.]
I'm upsetting you. I'm sorry, Stephen. Rest well tonight, okay? Keep warm. I'll talk to you again sometime soon.
[Yes, that's his professional opinion. At least it isn't a compound fracture, though he's not happy that it's going to be at least mid-morning before they can get there and set it.]
We'll be there tomorrow. For now, try to keep it as still as you can. If you have any ice that'll help with the swelling, but don't apply anything cold directly to the skin without wrapping it in something.
[Stephen's not keeping the best control over himself, in turn. Rest well, like this is going to be the night when he can actually sleep again. Like hell.]
I told you something that wasn't your burden to bear. I know this isn't helping you. It was selfish. I'm sorry for that. I really only meant to tell you so you could take care of my patients.
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